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post #30 of Old 04-19-2013
Sal Paradise
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Re: Is Sailing Sexist?

Thanks Brian,

At the very least you opened my eyes to think about some things. Your Op might be deliberately vague, as you asked about "this lifestyle". I'm not that familiar with your lifestyle. maybe I'll read your blog some more.

As for my own lifestyle - my first thought is I'd kill to be the first mate and have my wife be captain. That's probably not going to happen. After 20 years of marriage I love her dearly but some fantasies are just not going to happen in this lifetime, for either of us. I don't think she is going to go out and buy a 40' sailboat and teach me how to help her sail it to Grenada, although I imagine I would really like that. :-) I don't want to pursue some sexist behavior that makes my wife feel second rate, but I really just consider sailing itself to be an innocent thing, a positive thing, a worthwhile thing.

One time she took the boat out herself with one of our boys and after spending the better part of an hour stalling the boat out and going backwards (and laughing hysterically) she came to admit that she really isn't the expert sailer she once claimed to be. At age 47, I also am at that age where I know less than I did when I was 20. If you are my age, you know what I mean. Life teaches you to be humble. But something inside me drove me to spend days and years learning how to sail better and better and for her that same urge hasn't really happened yet.

All that said, I know my wife gets scared and frustrated sometimes aboard and anything I can learn that would help me to help her enjoy it more and be more knowledgable is very helpful. We are lucky in that our whole family loves sailing. After all these years she and I really are best friends and more. Who wouldn't want their BFF to enjoy and learn all about sailing? I think I might take a look at that book.

Last edited by Sal Paradise; 04-19-2013 at 11:11 AM. Reason: typos
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