Does Offshore Sailing School in St. Pete, Ft. Meyers or Captiva have any female instructors? Or, is that where you took your lessons?
Funny anecdote. When my wife first learned to sail, I went along. It was great, by the way. The instructor was definitely a bit of a hard a$$. A very good instructor, but we both recall that after he gave an instruction and you complied, he always said "thank you". However, the tone always came across like "F---- you". Still, she learned a lot and even references that he taught her to do things a certain way to this day.
Anyway, during the course, rather than buckle, she took it on. She volunteered to be the one to grind up the main halyard every time. She was not going to be intimidated. Very proud of her. It's just me she doesn't want telling her what to do.