Re: Apparently I'm not meant to have a boat...
Once you're beyond daysailing it's important to have confidence in your auxiliary, for the reason Denise mentions. There's little worse than facing a 30-40+ mile 'motor' and spending the whole time just waiting for the noise to stop, and despite everyone's intentions/desires there's often going to be a deadline - darkness, tidal gates, marina office hours, etc.
For you Jim, the upside of this experience should be putting that particular devil to rest.
1984 Fast/Nicholson 345 "FastForward"
".. there is much you could do at sea with common sense.. and very little you could do without it.."
Capt G E Ericson (from "The Cruel Sea" by Nicholas Monsarrat)