Re: Apparently I'm not meant to have a boat...
Once you're beyond daysailing it's important to have confidence in your auxiliary, for the reason Denise mentions. There's little worse than facing a 30-40+ mile 'motor' and spending the whole time just waiting for the noise to stop, and despite everyone's intentions/desires there's often going to be a deadline - darkness, tidal gates, marina office hours, etc.
For you Jim, the upside of this experience should be putting that particular devil to rest.
".. there is much you could do at sea with common sense.. and very little you could do without it.."
Capt G E Ericson (from "The Cruel Sea" by Nicholas Monsarrat)
1984 Fast/Nicholson 345 "FastForward"