Wow, there are a lot of different opinions on the vang topic.
Lots going on with your videos and photos. First, what was the wind speed? Didn't looks too bad out there, not a lot of white caps. 15 kts? You shouldn't need to reef in those conditions. That being said:
Work on your reefing skills. The sailshape is horrible. You've effectively reduced sail, but have bellied out the bottom of the sail, greatly powering up what cloth you have flying. Take a look at a proper slab reef.
Flat as a board. That is efficient and depowered correctly. There is an extreme amount of fullness in your current main. Try to trim that out first before dropping coin on a recut or new main.
Also, re-set your bolt rope (it's probably shrunk) and check the outhaul bolt rope if you have one for similar shrinkage. This will make a sail seem very blown out. I would also look into bringing out a rigger or sailmaker to make some adjustments to your rig. SF bay in the afternoon is always breezy. Might as well tune for it.