Some sailors never leave sight of land... others can't wait to leave the shores behind. While storms at sea may be dangerous, good planning and common sense can minimize your risk of encountering a truely serious storm. Weather routing is part of the skills you will need to learn if you're going to become a bluewater sailor.
If you don't have confidence in your skills and your boat, you have no business being out of sight of land.
Beneteaus and Hunters are really boatshow boats for the most part... many of them are geared towards people who want to have a boat, but aren't seriously planning on making bluewater passages on them. They are geared towards large living spaces, great accomodations, and creature comforts, more than they are towards making long passages. The quality of their boats has suffered due to past incidents, but some say that their quality has improved significantly in recent years.
If your goal is truly to go sailing, you don't need to have an Oyster, Hylas, Hallberg Rassy, or a Moody to do so. While Valiants, Oysters, and Hylas are very well regarded, they're also generally larger, much more expensive, and more difficult to handle short-handed.
There are many affordable boats that will allow you to go bluewater sailing like, the Alberg 30, the Southern Cross 31, the Allied Seawind 32, and others, at a far more reasonable cost than the brands you've mentioned.
A good book to read is John Vigor's 20 Small sailboats to Take you Anywhere
One other thing to remember is that the costs associated with a boat, after purchase, are proportional to the size of the boat. The bigger the boat, the more the maintenance, gear repair/replacement, mooring, dock, storage and haulout fees will be.
One excellent book to get read is Changing Course
. Get this book and read it... read it thouroughly and then give it to your wife. It may help her decide to go with you...which is far preferable to not doing so IMHO.