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Originally Posted by sailaway21
Valiente,
I read your post and was saddened by it. By my reckoning, I am the luckiest man alive. It took me over thirty years to find my wife and, somehow, ended up with the perfect mate for me. I can only thank the Higher Power that brought her to me, because I kissed alot of frogs on the way. every day that I have with her fulfills my life in ways I cannot begin to imagine or list. I know I could live without her, but I sure would not ever want to do so. The only negative about her is that I think she's not so bright. She wonders how i put up with her, and so I have to thank my lucky stars silently each morning I wake up with her! I don't know where I'd find another like her, a fact I choose to not fill her in on lest she figure out how much I rely on her for the joy in my life. Monogamous? No problem. Everything else out there is what women look like before they become what they should really be; an emulation of my wife. I'm staying with the real deal.
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Quite a tribute, and I think you are lucky that you have...and more importantly, want and value...this particular form of connection. Some others can't do it, some don't want it, and some shouldn't try in the first place. We can talk a great deal about how easy it is to divorce, and how today's couples lack commitment or a desire to "stick to it" as if marriage was some sort of Amazing Race, but if you speak, as I have, to a lot of older people, you'll find a great deal of bitterness in some cases that they felt pressured to stay married at a time when divorce carried a huge social stigma.
You will also meet people who had excellent and enduring marriages, too. But I wouldn't put the romantic notion of marriage that's developed in the last 150 years as an ideal or as some sort of societal goal. I would advocate it as a worthy option.
I come from a country where same-sex marriage is now legal, and my question to the (usually) religious types who oppose it is 1) surely they have the same right to be hypocrites as the straights? and 2) if marriage is a desirable state, then the more the merrier, right? It helps the tax base and uncomplicates pension and inheritance laws, and makes for an economically stronger family unit...isn't that good for the country?
As you can see, I take the somewhat utilitarian long view of marriage, which after all has historically had "love" as only a lesser byproduct not entirely necessary to its success. Having that view, I don't mind alternative forms of familial commitment (that don't involve kids and/or farm animals) that "paraphrase" marriage...and that make people as happy as sailing, for instance.
And I love my wife, and no, I don't want another. I'm already trying to sell an old boat...
