Heavy weather sailing
Basically, you want to mess with the level of the boom as a very last and very temporary action. It is a way to "spill" the wind in an extreme emergency only - i.e. a sudden squall. If it is worrying the wife, perhaps you should take a few sailing courses together. Maybe you are assuming too much and she knows it and is worried. You should shorten your sail or adjust your tack. If she doesn''t like being heeled in so many knots of wind, not mph, then perhaps you need a powerboat. In layman''s term''s, what you are describing puts way too much pressure on your standing rigging and your sail, with the end result being major failure at some point. Perhaps that is why you have never read of it being a solution. Basic physics, my man, will win out.
NOT a new sailor - over 38,000 sea miles (not including Canal, lake and ICW miles).
Please take note and good winds to you,