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post #73 of Old 04-04-2014
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Re: Cats on Board

Let’s face it a cat is a total waste of perfectly good DNA that could be used on something more useful like grapes or hops and yeast. They won’t even chase a stick. A Cat will usually be found skulking under stationary cars looking all innocent when in fact what they are doing is sawing through your brake pipes. Have a cat aboard your boat and anything that goes wrong is down to the hairy Ninja saboteur. You never own a cat; they own you and they have got no concerns when it comes to selling you out at the first opportunity. Leave the critter alone on your boat and if “Billy the Burglar” in the stripped tee shirts and mask come calling what does the fur ball do? Shows its teeth or makes a noise? No, it either ignores them or shows them where you keep your prized possessions. Even if Billy does not come calling with his jemmy leave the fur ball alone for too long and it will be putting posters up and holding an open sale of your worldly goods. A cat will always think it know better than you, you can see it in their sly, scheming eyes. Do a bit of maintenance here and there and although they are pretending to be totally disinterested, that one eye he has on you is thinking “That’s all wrong, it will never work”. You can also tell a cat lives aboard a boat. It smells as if Grandma Mable’s has eaten the world’s supply of asparagus and her colostomy bag has burst. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a modern-day man and can show my emotions. Just like the next man I like to stroke the occasional ***** but a cat as a companion on a boat! I would rather have Charles Manson in charge of sharpening the ship knifes whilst I slept soundly in my bed.

The sea pronounces something, over and over, in a hoarse whisper; I cannot quite make it out..

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