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Old 09-08-2007
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A gripe - The most unseamanlike vessels on the planet?

I've seem some really dumb things on the water. When I was a kid learning on my dad's ship, he used to tell me, "Wanna learn something today?" "Then go watch the boat ramp, that is exactly what you don't want to do."

Since then, I've learned that if I want to learn exactly what not to do in sailing, go watch the movie Captain Ron and sit by the boat ramp and quietly observe on weekends, or holidays.

The thing that bugs me is that my areas have posted rules about distance from other vessles (150 feet, or 200 from fishing boats) and a second post about no amplified sound systems. They didn't mention amplified jerks, which yell at thier wives when loading a trailer, or get drunk and you can hear that tosser from a mile away tell us about his latest sexual conquest in graphic detail while my children watch with huge eyes.

Regardless, we still have the world's most unprofessional vessels in WHORDES in my area. The ski-boat. The huge tower. The huge speakers. The huge penile deficiency that led to purchasing that type of boat. The whooping 15 year olds cutting wakes in front of the marina listening to the latest top 40 or the mid-life crisis guy who's listening to rock balads at 95db while towing a skier in the no-wake zone, just act like they have no sense.

The Marines would say, "Common sense was not a common virtue," while watching these boats flop about on the water like a retard in a candy store.

This week, there were two accidents in one day, both nearly fatal.

Couple "A" was flat drunk, 21 years old, towing teenagers, 20+ something foot Tige' with monster sound system blaring. they thought it would be fun to tow the skier in and out of the no-wake zone buoys in an "S" curve fashion. the skier fell, nobody was spotting, and they drug the skier into the buoy at 25 something MPH and broke her entire left side ribcage. Result - Flight for life, and BUI charge. Captain of the good ship lollypop went to jail on a $1047.00 bail.

Couple B, flat drunk, 50+ years old (and let me tell you, they were looking like PROFESSIONAL drunks or druggies - no teeth, reeked of stale booze, and so forth) towed a young girl of about 12 to over 30mph, when she fell. they made a figure 8 back to her, and ran her over, breaking her neck vertabre and nearly separating her spinal cord. Free helicopter ride for injured, free police car ride for Captain Meth, and $1047.00 bail.

To close the story, both wives went to the county jail, posted the bonds, and they went RIGHT BACK to the water within 4 hours, and right back to drinking and skiing.

Lots of remorse there.

We should require a license for boating. I need a license for a car... I need a motorcycle endorsement. I need a pilot's license for my plane. Why can't we make a boat license with endorsements for things like PWC (the water version of a motorcycle), and have an endorsement for the boat type or purpose?

If you racked up enough points, you can have your boat impounded, or license suspended. I think that there would be more professional boaters out there if there were actual consequences for behaving improperly that impacted the future of your boating hobby. Yes, we have a-hole drivers on the road, but nothing like the water! Even a slight reduction would be such a relief.

It's too bad - people that can't operate a car or plane because of drug or alcohol convictions, but they can take the bus to get to the local marina and be total a-holes to people who enjoy the water and are respectful to others.

Just my out-loud gripe!

Robert
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