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Fear of Heeling
Carol, heeling also freaks guys out at first. The way I overcame that out of control sensation you get when the rail starts to bite down was to sail dinghies.
Go find a good 10 foot sail boat. If your in cold water, rent a wet suite. Now go sail the boat right over on itself. Yep tip it over and get wet. You will learn sail ballance, how to recover from a knock down and how to right your vessle. Try it a couple of times and you will figure out the exact point that you loose control. It is way beyond what you think it is now.
Then go back on your fixed keel boat and relax. It will never be as scary as the ding. There is an old saying that " dinghie sailors are the best sailors". I think its true. If you take a small boat sailing course, this is one of the first things they teach you.