Hey Hoffa, I've been re-reading this thread and sure hope that my post wasn't mis-read as the "suck-it-up" thread. I can see where it might be.
If so, I apologize, not what I intended at all!
If anything, I commiserate, having been in a similar situation with a boat for which my livleyhood (sp?) depended upon.
I agree with just about everybody else, don't do anything rash. Go out and put on a good bender, cry the hurt and disappointment out of your system; then when the fog lifts sit back and reassess.
Maybe your first reaction is right. Maybe the dream really isn't for you; but it would be a shame to come to that conclusion in reaction.
Maybe this IS a test? How is the other half reacting?
And by the way, your writing style IS a hoot. Maybe THAT is the good thing to come out of all of this. The whole "suffering artist" deal?
Best of luck with whatever you decide, in any case.