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Old 10-09-2007
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My Evil Twin Brother suggests putting a pair of 5" white starshells over the bridgekeeper's "house" any time he's slow to answer the VHF. If you don't have a 5" gun on deck, then call the local FBI office and ask (ASK) of there is a possible hostage situation on the bridge, since the bridgekeeper seems to be missing in action and there is a clear and present danger to both navigation and rail traffic, and you're not able to determine if the bridge is closed and secured in the down position from where you are.

If the water is deep enough to sail over the debris, just dynamite the whole damned span and hold them up in the courts until they argree to build a replacement bridge that is safer--meaning, tall enough so no one will need to blown it up again.

'scuse me now, I've got to go parlez with these heavily armed men in black suits that just showed up outside my door.[vbg]
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