"I thought that a lee shore was any shore to the lee, one you could sail away from or not sail away from..."
This IS the correct definition.
You started off with the two extreams, calm and hurricane. In calm conditions a lee shore is not a major concern (but still needs to be addressed). In a hurricane, or other severe conditions, clawing off a lee shore may be impossible and would require you to allow more sea room. I would say conditions between these two extreams requires proportional sea room and caution be taken to ensure you and your vessle and crew remain safe. What proportion you use is subject to your experience, conditions, boat, etc....
hunter Legend 37 Semper Paratus
Formerly - Tartan 34C Yawl