[pirateofcapeann]

Dave:

I found that most of my issues with my female crew were caused by my own male insecurities. On the boat, the "I am the captain and you are the galley slave" attitude gets us nowhere. If she’s good enough to be my partner ashore then she should be able to be my partner at sea. If you’re fortunate enough to find a mate who keeps going to sea with you, I’d suggest you do everything in your power to make her feel welcome. If she has a problem at the helm, then maybe you hold the course and let her put the rags up. Sure, she’ll make mistakes and you’ll get pissed but that’s your problem, not hers.

I taught my wife and my daughters how to work the helm. Every 30 seconds or so, their eyes make a circuit. They scan the waters and assess the current situation and possible action of everything around them and how it will effect us. Next they check and correct their course and trim, and make plans for any changes that may be required. Then they check the crew and the boat making sure all is in order and everyone is in a safe position. On my boat, the helms-person is in charge although, as the one with the most experience, I am ultimately responsible.

If you need to be the one at the mast, she’s most likely paying attention to you and the action going on there, but she seems to be loosing contact with the rest of her job as the helms-person. I’d suggest that you teach her to watch the tell-tails in the shrouds or at the masthead and to keep them drawing aft instead of watching you. No matter what the compass says, no matter what else is happening aboard, until you report to her that all is ready for her to fall off and barring any un-safe situations, those tell-tails will show the course.

Pi