Atomic 4 - Water in Cylinders!!!
Yup, well, that''s about as classic a sign of a blown head gasket as there ever was! The reason it wouldn''t start is because you weren''t getting any compression. This could be a symptom of other problems too like a stuck valve, a cracked head or block or a broken timing chain even, unlikely but possible especially if you live in a northern climate and didn''t winterize the engine. The first step is to do a compression check. You''ve done well to pour some mystery oil in the cylinders. Don''t be bashful with it and turn the engine over by hand a couple of times after you pour it in.