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...that fear is fear of the water and nothing more..
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I disagree! Fear of heeling is NOT fear of water. I swim, I snorkle, I kayak, I have no problem with water, but heeling was disconcerting because I FELT OUT OF CONTROL. I didn't trust the boat, I didn't know what to do to feel safe, I was afraid of CRASHING.
The solution is not to jump in the water. The solution is to learn, learn, learn! Learn to take the helm, learn how to adjust the sails, learn how to anticipate the wind's effect on the boat, to develop a sense of trust about WHAT the boat can do and what I can do to control my situation, my environment.
It's like learning to drive, way WAY back when...learning all the things you had to pay attention to, what was important to attend to, and what needed only periodic attention, and what the signs of danger were. Same on a boat..Same, same. Just different (and in many ways MUCH more complex) environment.