In regards to my GF's recent bout with sailing anxiety; it is more relative to her overall level of anxiety before she even sets foot on the boat. The stresses of her every-day life as a school teacher are carrying over and giving rise to other fears (like heeling) when there is no reason to be afraid.
I know how hard it is to shed anxiety from work, etc, and how that impacts one's coping ability. I've noticed since our friend died while sailing, the level of anxiety not only with hubby and me on our boat, but other couples in our sailing group, is pretty high. We all are being VERY conservative in our sailing and boat handling. We'll just have to beat through it and get past it.
I worry about other boats, also, and have struggled to find a way to "respectfully" point out the other oncoming or crossing boat to the captain w/o questioning his competence (or looking like a panicked idiot)
We had a US Coast Guard licensed captain onboard for Ralph's memorial service and he quietly stood behind my hubby as we maneuvered through the 40+ boats that were out for the service. Every once in awhile he'd say quietly, "got that one off the portside?" Hubby'd say, "yep, got it" or "thanks, got it". I resolved then and there to adopt that communication mode - we'll see how it goes!
Its a work in progress and definitely worth the effort!