An aerosol can of Cool Whip is nice. Just stick the plastic thing in the corner of your mouth, and push it sideways. In seconds your mouth is full of white, fluffy cream. Word of warning: it has made my ass HUGE. My boat has an 11' beam, and yet the tops of my thighs hang over the cockpit combings and drag in the water like garbage bags filled with goo.
I don't believe that Sailhog, I saw the family pic you posted while on the boat and I think your bride would kick your pork loins for sure!
Me on the other hand, can hold one can in each jowl!