What the two of you describe is correct. I did not ease the jib, so perhaps that is where the mistake was made. I have notice that while sailing, many times many things need to be done at once. I do try to plan ahead when making decisions but I guess I figured easing the main would get me thru the turn safely (as it has in lesser winds in the past). next time I will ease the jib as well before the turn.
It all happened quite quickly, so it was over in 3 seconds since I kept the turn going. The healing was enough to get water over the rail into the cockpit, but only a couple of quarts. My sons eyes got as big as saucers but 2 seconds later after it was over he had quite a smile on his face so it's all good. He had a nice storey for his mother when we got home too. I am just trying to learn a little here.
While I have your attention, I have another question. When running, how can I depower the main sail in a big gust? For example, if beating, I can ease the main or turn into the wind, but when on a downwind reach (lets say with the wind at a rear corner), if things get crazy, what can be done? It seams to me both easing or hauling in the main sheet will have little effect. I always feel uneasy on a run for some reason. (like I have little control).