All of the above, I assume is tongue-in-cheek...
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Originally Posted by Cruisingdad
A Discussion of Old Farts and Dumb Dorks
It has come to my attention that there is a law being forumlated to tax cows for their methane production. |
This is true.
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It is not the cows that are the problem, ok? It is the flatulence... which we will abbreviate FARTS (aka Freaking Asinine Republican Talk Shows). Imagine what would happen if we passed a NO FARTS law? No more FARTING and no more "desired failing" by Republicans. Imagine the massive decrease of noxious gasses (aka, hot air) if they were taken "off the air"? Of course the massive decrease in Oxycontnin use might cause some drug stores and Pharmaceutical companies to go out of business, but we should be able to help save the economy with the high volume sales of "one hand raised a nation" T-Shirts. Imagine the textile industry returning to prominence again in the US.
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It comes down to, not Asinine Republican Talk Shows, but freedom of speech. Don't like Rush? Don't listen to him.
I hope Obama succeeds in becoming a GOOD President, by FAILING to get any of his Agenda passed. This includes but is not limited too, removal and banning of guns, "free medical health care" (there IS no such thing as a free lunch) and the nefarious, most infamous "Unfairness Doctrine".
Textiles returning to prominence? Only if Socialists have their way and little children are once again working in sweat shops.
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The other sensible consideration is to eliminate all the dumb DORKS (Democrats Often Rediculous Knowledge of Science). Although the internet would have never been invented, at least the world would be a cooler place. Suburban and Excursion sales would profound the nation. Ford's profits would only be exceeded by Exxons. The Saudi's would love us, all the voting-poor would be fed (every election day) in Venezuela. Let us not forget that we could do away with "Ozone Days" since every day would be an Ozone Day.
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While I can partially agree with you here, Al Gore did not invent the internet, he had nothing whatsoever to do with it. That was what we call "A LIE" that he perpetuated until some people actually believed him.
Same thing with Globull Warming. Bad science, and loud mouths go together... and when you hear something quoted by the media that starts with "Scientists say...." suspect it with every part of your being. Which ones, where, who are they, what are they saying really, give us quotes.
And remember ozone is create every time there is a lightning strike. Thousands and thousands of gallons of it. At any given time on this planet there are roughly 2000 thunderstorms occurring.
That's a lot of ozone.
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I certainly hope we do not have any old farts or dumb dorks on this forum. If so, now is the time to come out of the closet and repent your sins. The good Reverend Ted Haggard is standing by to help you overcome your problems. His 'one-on-one' sessions are free the first time (or until you get caught). If money is not an issue, please direct your therapy to Eliot Spitzer - who will assist you at a minimal cost. If you prefer a more behind the scenes therapy session, please visit the local mens room. Mark Foley will slide his foot under the stall when it is your turn to repent.
- CD
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/chuckles