[JEFryar]

I see that this is a common experience with new sailors. Whatever the conditions of weather or boat attitude you need to feel that you are in control otherwise the experience is less than pleasant.
I learned a long time ago that you need to steer your own course. Don''t be too concerned about what other boats are doing. Do what is comfortable for you.
Sailing your boat more upright and comfortable is Ok. In fact the more you heel the less sail area is presented to the wind and the less efficient your boat will sail. The more you heel the more power you are losing. You might think of it as your boat depowering itself.
Go slow and stay within your comfort zone. Good sailors are the one who can control their boats within that zone.Good sailors depower by reefing or changing to smaller sails BEFORE they are needed.This is what sailing is all about, adjusting the sails to provide the right amount of power for your boat and the conditions.
As you gain experience and confidence your comfort zone will grow.
So relax and enjoy. Isn''t that the reason we sail?
Jeffrey