The best thing you can do is start going to boat shows and demo days and even do a charter trip or two. You need to feel them out yourself and see which one works for you.
I will agree that handling a 40+foot cat as a rookie couple is going to be challenging. You CAN learn on a cat though, but it wouldn't hurt to start racing locally to get your feet wet on smaller monohulls.
My husband and I were both small boat racers and then our first boat we bought together (when we were still dating) was a PDQ36 cat. LOVED that boat and was the perfect size for a couple (though not a round the world boat). That boat was a kind and patient teacher on the hard knocks of cruising. But it helped that we had basic sail handling under our belts from racing and small boat sailing. So what I am saying is, start sailing NOW before you buy a boat.
There are some sturdy smaller cats like Prouts, Admirals, and Privelege (39). 40+ feet is a lot to clean, dock, maintain, and sail. If we didn't start having kids, we would have stuck to the 36-39 foot range.
Best to you!
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