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Old 06-29-2009
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OsmundL OsmundL is offline
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Rational? well...

Free markets presume that we act rationally, but we don’t. We’re completely ga-ga.
Why, 2 weeks ago I got 2nd degree burns on my foot trying to converse with a seagull. The gull won’t even look at me now, she’s so embarrassed.
During winter I bought vitamin tablets and a field mouse ate the packet. He is now a modern day Popeye or Batman among mates. I feel obliged to house him, since I burnt down his home three years ago along with 2-3 acres. Twenty volunteer firefighters saved the rest of the forest.
I don’t like silver, so I sold the family set. This week on a brief return attending to business I find myself eating with plastic knives; I had to buy take-away coffee to have the cardboard cup for the stay. Can’t buy meat, not with a plastic knife, so it’s veggies and fruit for now.
My friend for years is a vegetarian. Her CO2 emissions are right up there with a cow’s. We need emission controls on vegetarians.
Is there a parallel universe? If so, dad was handyman there. The only nail he handled in his life stuck through his thumb. Every Christmas we gave him a lighter and others gave him fountain pens, ballpoints, only the best. When the lighter or pen needed refill, he put it in a drawer. I found more than 20 lighters and Parkers in his drawer, the ones that “didn’t work.”
I traded my 15’ runabout for two arch windows. They’re in storage; nobody knows when they can be installed. This is a way better deal than dad who had a same-size boat and traded it for a bottle of red. He couldn’t find the oars, so it didn’t work.
Friday, I put candelabra in the windowsill in 90˚F; the candles took on the shape of Clinton’s penis. One of them is a complete U.
My own penis? I could find it if Musto HPX trousers were not a sack with a 20-inch high barrier in front; no exit for sizes shorter than an elephant’s trunk.
Could we have rules and laws to protect the Earth from people like us, please? The free market doesn’t cut it. In that market I frequently win, so there must be people even dumber than I. Lord save us.

Now excuse me, I have to feed a seagull.
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