Chall - good to see you back around dude!
We're in the same hunt as you. I've been researching and looking at a hell of a lot of boats with the same issues in mind.
I love the Benes and Catalinas. All of them I've looked at have been really nice, exciting boats. If it were just up to my impulsive self, I'd most likely spring for a Bene in the 40' range for our upcoming coastal boat purchase. Fast and cool.
But, thinking about all the same issues you've listed above, I've decided to narrow my search to a heavier boat with a CC. It'll be a more comfortable ride for the wife and kids than a beamy hotrod - and, overall, will afford us more protection from my horrendous sailing abilities and poor judgement.
So yeah, I'm kind of digging the old shoe for our near term coastal life. I'll just race the C27 in our lake and enjoy that.