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post #32 of Old 08-04-2009
LarryandSusanMacDonald's Avatar
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Men and their remotes

Long ago, in a remote time and a remote place, a gentleman named Adam sat in a reclined position on a large branch of a tall tree surveying his domain and protecting his family, his wife whose name was Adamka, as were all ladies of this ancient time and his only child, Anuth.

Adam was a troglodyte, a cave dweller. His chief worry was the Mershall, known in our time as a saber-toothed tiger. Many Adams performed this same service for their families. All men were Adam – they hadn’t thought up individual names, it didn’t seem important at the time.

Any time any Adam would see a Mershall, he would call loudly from his high perch, Anuth, Adamka – MERSHALL! And Anuth and Adamka would run and hide, Unfortunately for Adam, the Saber-toothed tiger could hear very well and also had the ability to climb trees. Adam, for a saber-toothed tiger, was another name for lunch.

It came to pass that a cosmic ray, generated from some distant star, streaked into our solar system, and passed through a gonad at just the precise moment to cause a particular genetic anomaly which resulted in a child, an Adam in this case, to be conceived with a particular tendency which helped insure himself and his family a Darwinian advantage over other Adams in the area. It seems that this particular Adam did not like to yell all that much. So as he grew into an adult and began a family and climbed into his reclining position in a tree to protect his family, he took with him an exceedingly long stick with which he prodded Adamka and Anuth each time he saw a Mershall. He and his family survived and had many offspring, who each also had many offspring.

Over the course of many generations, his line survived, up until today.

Which, of course, explains why we men today, reclining in our easy chairs, treat our remotes much as Adam treated his long stick, making jabbing motions with it and muttering quietly, Anuth Adamka Mershall.

So, ladies, remember, as we men mutter and wield the remote as if we were prodding someone with a stick, that we are only obeying ancient genetic compulsions designed to protect you and our offspring.

Saltwater Suzi and Cap'n Larry

"A sailboat is a fickle mistress. You’ve got to buy her things. You’ve got to understand everything about her. What you don’t know she’ll use against you." -Captain Larry

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