[jjdevo]

I think many poeple keep their sheets too tight in general so start there. I noticed a poster recommending flattening out the sails (but wasn't more specific for people newer to sailing), which is what I would recommend if you don't quite need to reef. Tighten your halyards, outhaul and boom vang and use your traveller in addition to your mainsheet to try to flatten your main thus lessing the power of the sail (the looser the sail the more it acts like a wing). Also either reef your genny or use a smaller one (or try adjusting the traveller).

I have found depowering the sails can flatten the boat out just enough to keep everyone comfortable while getting where you need to go.

Also, the comment about using the motor instead of tacking made me laugh...thanks...reminded me of a friend who used to say "gentleman only sail downwind" when talking about sailing with new dates.

also reminded of another quote" racing is the way to ruin the perfectly good sport of sailing"