[braidmike]

Originally Posted by sab30

Perhaps to clarify..most guys seems to be trying to get their wife to go and mine is already willing and excited for our future adventure. We have owned a boat doing lots of weekends/anchorages and a couple of week+ charters in different locations always having a good time...but....

we always have our own careers friends etc to come back to giving us that time apart....

Living full time in close quarters for a year plus? Sometimes I question how thats possible without killing each other (not literally ) Im interested in hearing how others have worked through this....

For what it's worth: My partner and I have lived together for over twenty years now, almost always in very close quarters. With thanks to those who have given us examples to follow through the years, here are some of the things that work for us.fficeffice" />>>
1. No secrets. Seems simple; after some practice it really is.>>
2. Trust. Naturally follows the above, but takes a bit more time to develop.>>
3. Respect. Boundaries, time, space, and personal. >>
4. Sharing. We tend to share friends, careers, and interests. Many times we take a few minutes while reading a good book to stop and read passages aloud to one another. Not sure why that is such a big thing, but it is...>>
5. Communication. We practice, practice, practice. I really like the previous post about even anchoring and not having to speak, because you know what the other is thinking/going to do. It only comes with being as open as possible at all times.>>
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Rereading this sounds kind of preachy... don't mean it to. It has been nice to talk about this ourselves that last day or so and try to define what makes us 'work'. >>
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On a practical note: we have our spheres of expertise, and respect the talents of the other in those areas. I am not allowed to apply varnish on anything visible, for instance. We read quite a bit, and when the other is immersed in a good book, that seems to meet the need for 'alone time'. While there are the typical pink and blue tasks, we both can and do both on a regular basis. We do not shy away from expressing ourselves regarding 'small bothers'. Better to keep everything above board, open and immediate.>>
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Marie speaking: Why do you have separate spheres now? Is it masking personal differences not readily apparent? Do these 'differences' that do not affect a great personal relationship when given the space on land threaten to disrupt that relationship when confronted an hourly basis in close quarters? >>
We have found that one person cannot meet all/every need of another human being. There must be an understanding that personal needs (of whatever type) need to continue to be met outside the primary relationship, and one cannot assume the responsibility of meeting every need of the other in a relationship. Strategies must be in place, planned for when possible. For example: A trip home, abrupt change in plans, FLEXIBILITY above all. Keep your personal interests active.