We had a 361 for 7 1/2 yrs and loved it. It's a great boat, sails well, and comfortable below as well. The separate shower is bigger than what we have in our 43. It has a large aft cabin and good size galley. Numerous ports and hatches provide good ventilation. Huge cockpit locker for storing all your boat goodies. I've single handed her in winds up to 30 kts with zero issues. We've made runs as long as 12 hours and always felt comfortable. I think she'd be a good choice for something in that price range.
I'm not familiar with the 381 but did consider moving to a 411 which is a nice boat with a good reputation. If you have the extra money to buy a 411 versus the 361, all things being equal, I'd go for it. The extra room and overall size of the boat would be nice to have.
I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other questions. You can always send me a private message if you want to take this off line.