Hi, I'm new on here and I have to admit I didn't read every page of this thread but, I'd like to comment on a couple of points.
Security and control.
These were mentioned several times and I'd just like to say that these are relative terms. Life is just a ball that we have no choice in attending. We choose partners and dance to the music that is playing. If we can't follow the melody we sit it out, and anxiously await the next one, or we jump in and take the chance of looking like a fool.
We cannot control the winds of life. We can only adjust our sails. Sometimes our destinations change, due to a berage of un-cooperative weather, and we end up in a situation that seems unsecure and out of control. That is, until that melody becomes familiar.
One thing is for certain; the ball will end. Dance every dance!