Do as mentioned above, start with a small/er amount of sail on those windy days. "HAVE" a plan as to what you will do IF the wind is stronger than you thought, and what you would do IF you need to reduce farther.
You might find as mentioned above too, that a smaller jib works best/better, then again, also as mentioned, a main alone might be better. If you find your self preferably on purpose out in 30-40 knot winds, have the motor ready, an extra person/crew if you race, play with different sail combo's to get the best handling for your rig.
One night last summer, the winds were in the upper 20's with gusts into the low 30's, we pulled out a storm jib and used it with single, and no reefs to see how my boat did vs using a 110 and a single or double reef, or 110 alone. Then while playing out there, think about the worst thing that might happen, ie knockdown or equal, and plan for it, hopefully it will not happen with prudence on your part. Then again, I could go back to the mid 70's as a dripping wet 110 lb teen racing lasers, get to the first mark in 3-5th place, hear "STARBOARD" of course about that time a gust hits, over I go, then 10 min later I am in "last" place!
smacky, can you take care of the firery tops to my head?
Any way, best thing Allan, go out and play, and see how things go, if they do not go right, come back, think.......OUCH......note to self, no thinking, hurts brain cell........anyway, stew over it, and figure out what you/crew could have done better etc.