SailNet Community - View Single Post - Just had a "break-through" with wife
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Old 04-20-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eryka View Post
Nick - it's no one post, or I would have linked to it. Instead its just the overall vibe here. (Don't worry, it's not you) As far as relationships, I think even more than the generalization and stereotype, what's getting me is the implied lack of transparency. All the manipulation, scheming advice to "get" your S.O. to do what you want - what is wrong with simply, transparently, saying to your spouse/partner/best friend, "This cruising thing is really important to me and I'd like to do it with you, how can we make that work?" You might find out that its about the sailing, or the drama and "yelling;" or it might be about being away from the grandchildren; or having to sell the house. Any of these can be tackled once you know what they are ... but as Gary's post so heartbreakingly makes clear, a marriage shouldn't be a mindreading test! Just state what you're thinking for goodness sake!!!

Then again, maybe I don't understand what the fuss is all about, after all, I'm out here cruising, an equal, excited partner. Neither of us had to convince the other, we *both* wanted this life as soon as we were able (finances and skills)

Eryka,

I couldn't agree more. Open discussion about it all the way even if you don't get what you want. You have to take her part in it too unless you aren't really partners. Remember, living on a boat is a total commitment in very close quarters.
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