If you want to do it yourself, drop the mast, meaure everything, and have the pieces made up. A thousand for labor actually doesn't sound unreasonable. That's only 10 hours at $100 per hour.
I have to agree with your retired rigger friend. My previous 7000 lb 30 footer had all 1/4" stays and shrouds. My current 33 footer has 5/16" forestay and backstay and 1/4" shrouds.