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post #3 of Old 05-14-2010
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Originally Posted by deniseO30 View Post
Ladies, how do you really feel? You finally get some time at the helm, feel like you have a handle on things, running a reach, tacking, etc...

Then he suddenly assumes whatever it is he's assuming and "takes the wheel" He just doesn't seem to consider that you may really not be quite ready to relinquish the wheel so quickly.

Lets hear it! The good the bad and the ugly!

Now on the flip side... you don't give up the helm.. does he pout? shout? act like he's lost because he has to man the winches?

(why does Denise come up with stuff like this?)
I say, assert yourself! I wish my wife would take charge a bit more. I'd go lounge up front. BTW, she never mans the winches when I'm on watch, so I would be disinclined to.

But, sometimes I take the helm back because there is a tricky bit coming up, I know she is not quite ready for it, and if something goes wrong I would rather it was my fault.

With freedom comes responsibility; if you are going to fight to keep the helm, man or woman, don't ask for help you don't really need. Learn to manage good weather and bad, problems and easy sailing. I do not appreciate a fair weather helmsman, that only wants the comfortable times and then hides below from the rain or even a bad cross-sea.

(when asked how he reached the starting holds on a difficult rock climbing problem that clearly favored taller climbers - he was perhaps 5'5")

"Well, I just climb up to them."

by Joe Brown, English rock climber

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