If you haven't yet, you may want to read this thread at the Moyer site:
It describes the process of checking and changing both the forward and reverse modes. Misadjustment could be making your neutral hard to hit.
I've noticed on my A4 that the shaft continues to rotate slowly unless my shifter is in an exact position. I'm tempted to mark that position at the shifter, but it hasn't caused any problems yet.
As noted in the thread above, exact neutral is when the prop shaft can rotate most easily. It could be possible that your starter is weak and won't turn her over unless the tranny is at the easiest/most neutral position.