Hi everyone. So, OK. There are only three things you need to worry about.
The dock is the most dangerous place, if your body gets between the boat and the dock it will be crushed. The second thing are these drums we call winches. They grind rope and snap off fingers like it was nothing, keep your fingers well clear. Lastly is the boom, it comes swinging across the boat sometimes when we don't expect it. Duck, don't let the boom hit you in the head, cause it'll knock you out cold and into the water. That's why you wear a life jacket. You are a terrible swimmer when you're unconscious. We do practice recovering overboard sailors, so we'll get you if you fall over with a life jacket on, but you'll have more fun staying a bit drier.
Dock, winches, boom, got it?!
Moving around the boat, the rule is one hand for yourself, one hand for the boat -- even for the skipper. Ask any questions but ask them loud and twice because I am deaf in the wind.
I swear there IS NO MERMAID IN THE STARBOARD QUARTERBERTH so don't go looking.
All right. Any questions? Lets prepare to cast off, mateys.