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Old 01-01-2011
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rikhall rikhall is offline
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Me, personally, I think you are all too hard on Winterchase. I think it is laudable that he is seeking the collective expert advice (or lunacy) of this group. How many times have you read a book that contained terribly incorrect nautical scenes - can you believe Kevin Costner took his PFD off before he jumped in the water in Message in a Bottle! Give me a break, and give Winterchase a break too.

Good on ya, Winterchase!

==========

>The rotation of the SCREW diminishes noticeably,

screw or prop both work, prop or propellers might be better

As soon it's stable in the wake, the lines are released, the rotation of the SCREW increases, and the ship continues on into the night, leaving the life raft adrift on the open ocean.

Maybe - as soon as it is "stable at the stern" ....

>powerful engines GURGLING,

This works

>From the flying bridge, eerie green lights from sophisticated electronic gear keeps the three man crew in shadows as...

green, amber, or remove the colour totally

>A CREW MEMBER machine-GUNS the raft

or reaches over and slashes the rubber side - they might not want the noise of a gun??

... as the < weight of the outboards pull the> mutilated raft beneath the surface, the contemplative sights and SOUNDS of the moon lit ocean return.

Just some ideas - I too want your screenplay to be accurate.

Happy New Year. When you get enough posts to send me a PM - feel free.

Rik
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