Originally Posted by knotted
Thank you for your kind, and possibly generous, offer of 'employment', or should that be 'enjoyment'?
I am both honoured and very pleased to receive your offer, and once suitably qualified for the duties to be undertaken I will contact you to formally accept the offer and arrange a start date to take up the duties of the position discussed. Although your offer mentioned neither 'competent' nor 'confident' as part of the desired qualifications, you may rest assured that I shall endeavour to be a 'valuable asset' during the period of my 'employment'.
I point out that my qualifications to satisfy the 'designated' part of the job description are plain and simple: abstinence. My abstemiousness is exemplary on any day of the week not ending in 'y' or on which I intend to sail before the mast. I should, however, indicate in that regard that my ambition and long term job objective, where possible, is to not venture out of the cockpit or off the poop deck... I must enquire also in that regard whether your terms of 'employment' and/or 'enjoyment' include BYOB (bring your own buoy)?
Once more, thank you for your offer, the acceptance of which gives me nearly as great pleasure as will the 'employment' itself. I shall of course ensure that I bring my log book and that it accompanies me nearly everywhere, except for the compartment containing the small 'round hole in the floor'.
I am, Sir,
Your Most Obedient Servant
March 24, 1911
Doc Brown has just delivered your letter. He has been dispatched in his De lorean to retrieve you and deliver you to the year 2011 to begin your new employment in the new century.
Wait until you see what the world looks like now.
Two words. Silicone. Boobies.
PS, I know the big nautical talk is about the upcoming launch of the unsinkable RMS Titanic on the Atlantic route next spring. Don't be tempted to buy a ticket for her return voyage. Invest that money in buying stock in a typewriter company called International Business Machines, or that Ford Motor Company- I don't care what Ransom Olds says, I think he has a winner with that Model T.
I'll explain when you get here.