[Jeff_H]

First of all, the Oday daysailer is a great first boat to learn on. It is small enough and simple enough that you can concentrate on the basics and not have to worry about a lot of details. It is responsive enough that you can begin to sense when you are doing things right and when you are doing things that are not exactly by the book. They are not so high performance to be dangerous for a beginner.

In reading your post I would suggest that you get a Tiller Extension (Hiking stick as you called it). This is a safety issue as there are time when it will be important to have your weight forward and out on the rail. It is even more important if you are single-handing.

It is really not posible to balance a small centerboarder to the point that you have a perfectly neutral helm in gusty conditions. Daysailors are usually sailed with a small amount of weather helm especially up wind.

To talk about sailing your boat in a breeze. The key to upwind control in a breeze is a very flat sail with a small angle of attack so that small course changes can quickly feather the sails. That means really tighten the halyards,vang and outhaul.

The Oday Daysailors that I have sailed did not have an adjustable traveler. In a breeze the mainsail is clamped down really tight for a second and then the vang tightened very tightly and tehn the mainsail eased. This allows you to do what is called vang sheeting. If you do not do the step of tightening the vang, when you ease the mainsheet you would actually be powering up the mainsail and initially increasing heel when you ease the sail.

Moving the jib sheet lead block slightly aft a hole or so can depower the jib as well.

Jibing singlehanded on a small boat requires some care. The first step in my mind is to head dead down wind and to "hobble" the jib. That means to pull the lazy sheet in to that the clew of jib is approximately on the centerline of the boat and alternately colapsed and full. Next pull in the mainsail to the centerline. Then change course just enough that the mainsail flops over. This may require you to quickly reverse your helm after the jibe so you don''t swing up on a reeach. Once the mainsail has flopped over let the sheet run so that the sail is eased out for your new course and when all has settled down, ease the weather jib sheet and then come to course. The key to singlehanding is to set things up so you can do them one at a time. It takes time to get to know how to do that for each boat and of course to have the experience to know how to do things easily and properly quickly. Over time you will build skills and this will all seem very natural. I frequently singlehand my 28 foot race boat and have singlehanded larger boats. Over time it becomes no big deal. Good luck and keep trying.
Respectfully
Jeff