FWIW I've sailed one in light air. A friend of mine has the dealership in Riverside NJ and I help him out at shows by answering questions, helping on demo sails etc. I spent 4 days sitting on the one at the Annapolis Show as well. Here are some comments take them or leave them.
1. The boat sails very well in light air, under 10 kts. She tacks cleanly and quickly with a light feel to the helm. The running rigging is set up well and once you get used to the clutches they use on the jibsheets tacking becomes a one person, easily managed job. Simply lock the one on the leeward side prior to tacking. Then when you release the working sheet and take up the other side the clutch prevents the sheet from pulling out of your hand. Tacking becomes a breeze. It gives you the impression you're sailing a smaller boat in that the smaller headsail is easier to handle and the clutches take the strain off the sheet. If you wrap the sheet on the winches quick enough you don't need a winch handle. I've also sailed the Beneteau 40 and own a B43, the difference is notable. Winches are in easy reach of the helm behind the wheels. The continuous mainsheet system also took some getting used to but once you did it works quite nice and is easy to trim. I can't say if she'll pound or not in rough seas. I was a bit concerned that my B43 would as it too as a very flat aft section. I'm happy to say she normally does not, nor does the B40. I say normally since given the right conditions it can and will but it's easily managed by either bearing off or adjusting speed.
2. The cabin is very comfortable. After sitting in it for 4 days I can say the seat height for my 5'9" frame is about right. I usually have an issue with the edge of the cushions cutting off the circulation in my legs but not this time. The seat cushions were also nice to sit on. The cabin is fairly roomy which was tested during the show with a constant flow of people through it. Cut it back to two couples and I think it would be fine. The aft head was roomy with a very nice sized shower area. Something the wife will like. The storage compartment accessed via the head is also unheard of on a 40' boat. While the forward berth his nice and roomy, the aft seemed tight and would likely be the guest or kids quarters.
3. The swing down transom gives the stern a nice clean look but it is a bit heavy. Not sure the wife or kids will be up to dealing with it.
4. The price you were quoted with the electric, reversing winches sounds pretty good. If I recall correctly the base proice at the show was $186K.
5. If you're dealing with Bay Yacht make sure the price is not based on the Boat As A Business deal. If you're interested in comparing numbers I can get you a name and number to call. The dealer for the northern bay is Riverside Yachts, Riverside NJ. While some manufacturers maintain a strict territory Jeanneau does not.
6. Jeanneau is building a number of their boats at the Beneteau factory in Marion SC. The factory is set up to build any boat on the same production line. It's one of the ways they can keep the costs down.
7. if you can test sail the Benny 40 and the 409. Both should be available in Annapolis. They are definately two different boats.
I hope this helps. Not sure I can think of anything else but feel free to ask or PM me. And BTW I do not work for my buddy I have a full time job unrelated to the marine industry, but enjoy sailing other peoples boats, especially new ones