Dude, you need this site:
Sea Captain Date
I'm surprised nobody posted that link yet - or maybe it was one of the posts that was deleted.
My favorite line (2:18): "What? You're married?" "Technically, to the sea.....whore!"
FYI, this is a spoof site, but it was written up in several major publications who were fooled by the "legitimate" appearance of its design. But there are enough red flags to give it away, like "chatting on my trusty CB radio."