I'm experiencing a similar situation with my Admiral (whom I love dearly) and have been calm but have often said the wrong thing the wrong time; like whne we heel and she does a sharp intake of breath and I point out that we're only going 7 knots. Somehow my comparison of driving a car to a sailboat doesn't hold up at all. Go figure. She has gotten more used to heeling as I don't panic and she understands the physics involved and the boat hasn't capsized and sunk.
Key is to just keep her sailing, as gently as you can. Let out the main and head up a bit more into the wind. Reef and lower sails. Avoid going out when the weather is too much for the boat and your crew. Whatever it takes to keep your lady in the boat happy.