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Why are the Ladies silent on Sailnet?

35K views 236 replies 63 participants last post by  emcentar 
#1 ·
Sailing is so sexist that the ladies here feel too inferior to post?

They are treated rudely or not taken seriously?

Anything they say is invalidated?

OK to rant Ladies!
 
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#79 ·
"male privilege" was one of my pet peeves. = why more men post on a women's forum then women!

And give advice when it's not needed...........
Tell you if you did good or bad because you "need" his approval.
Tell you to get his coffee, dinner, and wash his underwear.....
Takes the wheel.. makes her struggle with 40+ lb anchors, tying lines making everything "ready" for docking while he screams orders that no one can understand but him and looks to see who's impressed,:D

with the guys; he's thee most interesting man in the world" because that's what boys have to do in the company of others for them to be men? :rolleyes:

- - - - - - - - - - --
I used to be angry.. then I discovered I was feminist and I had a way and means to vent my anger. Now I'm still feminist, just not angry. I open doors for old men and cute guys. they do the same for me. :) it's OK... I don't put my agenda on them - they wouldn't get it anyway, because I don't "look" like a feminist.. (what do they look like anyway?)

I'm all done with marches, demonstrations and speaking at rallies and equality events. I still believe! I just passed the soapbox over the the younger people.

It's affirming see men marching with women in recent years. Women's rights have evolved and thankfully much of the militancy has subsided... Men have learned to buy and wash underwear and make dinner and still be Daddy's, husbands and lovers with out feeling emasculated.
 
#81 ·
GREETINGS EARTHLINGS; Megga Star in the Big Boat World Dame Ellin McCarther. I sail on 72' sail-training vessel what the Lads do with BFI (brute Force and Ignarance) the Girrrrrrrls have to do the same with skill tecnique and it knows the macho out of the lads SO you go and show the lads how is done with finess and style GO SAFE .
 
#82 ·
Simply having a herSailnet implies the ladies come here for reasons other than the men. And while there are certainly gender specific issues, by and large, they aren't one's you're going to discuss in an open forum anyway. So all it really does, is validate the stereotype.

One need not be a feminist, a Mama Grizzly, or any other label, to share and learn.
 
#86 ·
Yes, I do feel better after the rant.

I don't think all men are chest-beating savages who run around raping and pillaging literally or figuratively.

The Battle of the Sexes has gone on as long as there have been two genders. We won't solve the problem here, but we can examine it as it relates to sailing. Women tend to be concerned with the ambience of sailing--those aspects that touch on the affective domain. Men tend to be more concerned with the engineering and physics of sailing. NOT that women don't concern themselves with matters of engineering and physics, survival may depend on those skills.

So with those ideas in mind, one would conclude that there won't be scores of women sailors posting on threads dealing with through the hull fittings or step by step instructions for priming a diesel fuel system. We know those are important and don't dismiss them, but we may be more interested in threads about pressure cookers and dealing with dampness why living aboard.
___________________
Helen

Cornucoipa Finnsailer 35
Savannah, GA
 
#99 ·
...The Battle of the Sexes has gone on as long as there have been two genders. We won't solve the problem here, ...
Ah... No, you won't, here or elsewhere. There is too much Fraternizing with the Enemy!
 
#87 ·
In case you have not noticed some men like to argue a point to death. We don't. I may offer an opinion but that's it. I do not want to get slapped down for it or have to defend it. I like the act of sailing. I like learning from others to become a better sailor or learn new techniques from men and women. Some of these boards can be a little intimidating for some of the ladies.
 
#88 ·
On another note. My husband does not sail so i wanted to meet fellow women sailors. I started up a women's sailing program at our sailing squadron. I have been shocked at the turn out. Close to 20 ladies have shown up. And new members are still joining. Most sail or help sail. All don't feel 100 percent confident. So
we are having fun and learning from each other. It's a riot that the guys are volunteering to help us. God bless them we love them but a few hours of laughs with the girls is good stuff.
 
#89 ·
There is more than one male professional chef here that has discussed pressure cookers, many men that have asked about boat dampness and, I for one, count among many men interested in the ambiance of sailing.

I've never smacked a sailor down for their opinion, as a reference to their gender. I have, however, been told by a women poster here than my response was "male". The response she referenced, by the way, was one that suggested we NOT have gender differences in our perspective.

We are here to discuss sailing. There is no need to segregate mechanics in the Gear and Maintenance forum, instructors in Learn to Sail, or Jeanneau owners in the Jeanneau forum. I see no reason to segregate male and female either.
 
#94 · (Edited)
Sailors come in many shapes, sizes, sex, sexual preferences, colors and religions. There is nothing in my genes makes me a better or worse sailor than a woman or even the next man. If having a womens sailing forum, womans sailing club invites more women to sail I am for it. If my wife or any other woman chose to belong or go to an all woman sailing school to learn more offshore sailing techniques I would encourage her as that is what she feel comfortable with, however she does not feel that way.

The ONLY reason I got involved in the post was the rant a poster took which painted men with a BROAD brush and generalized about them in a condescending way. In life I tend to object to painting any person, group, religion. color, sex or sexual preference with a broad brush so seeing it here it was a natural reaction for me to object.

This was followed by

"I don't post much because it upsets me to have my posts picked apart, taken out of context and criticised by people who can't even spell." Or even, "I guess you're right, I don't post much. Frankly, I think that a lot of the more-prolific posters are blowhards and I don't want people to think of me that way."
Well I am a notoriuos bad typist who cannot spell which by the number of my prolific posts I must be a blowhard also.

Many men tend to be dismissive of our opinions, observations, and insights. Also I have noticed that men tend to think their way is the right way, even though there can be multiple strategies for solving a problem.

Men to want to control discourse through overstated opinion, often not backed by fact or reason. We women tend to back away from confrontation.

Also one must remember that males want dominance; females want consensus. Being dismissive, rude, and condescending is just another strategy to gain an advantage. We must understand this weakness in men and cut them some slack.
With all due respect to the poster, I will continue to be inclusive and help as many othe SN as I can. I also love organizing and attending get togethers of Sailnetters as well as use the forum to LEARN from others of all sexes, colors etc and also share the small experiences I have had in my 40 years of inshore and offshore sailing. Camradiere is one of the greatest parts of the Sailnet experience. Painting a whole sex with a broad brush of negative generalization does nothing to enhance that experience.

Dave
 
#107 · (Edited)
Okay, *this* thread has clearly lost its way. How long did it take to devolve into gender wars? One page? mikieg, I would like to respectfully submit that you consider taking a walk on the wild side. It seems to suit you philosophically, the only trouble is finding a way to deal with your shame. Perhaps you might take a week's vacation somewhere anonymous, give it a try and see if you like it. If you don't, no real harm done. If you do, well, you have a world of new opportunities. Might make your living situation a little sticky temporarily, but I'm confident those hurdles could be overcome.
 
#108 · (Edited by Moderator)
There has been a minor amount of substance in the thread, such as the discussion over whether women should have a forum where men are not permitted to post. Should men have one that excludes women? I, for one, don't think either makes sense, despite clearly recognizing differences between the genders on average.

References to gay, however, are just childish. DR is a respectable poster here and should have torn you a new one for that post. Picture a couple of hundred of us locked and loaded, if you don't straighten up.
 
#109 ·
Thank you Minnewaska.

I don't shy away from a healthy discussion but mikieg just wants to fight. As much as I'm tempted to rip away, any additional response from me to him would just add fuel to his weak flame and the rest of the forum members don't need to be subjected to that.
 
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#110 ·
hey DR, you seem hung up on this gay thing. you care to share it with us, or are you going to continue to insinuate?-mikieg
This is inappropriate. Donna is a substantial person who blogs here to help others and also for the commradiere of fellow sailors. She has met many of us and also organizes get togethers of the SN in our area. Threads have no place for personal attacks.

Dave
 
#112 ·
"Okay, *this* thread has clearly lost its way."

Maybe we did lose our way. What happened was the question of why women don't post here pushed buttons for many people, myself included. We are all speaking from our unique frames of reference. We've all had negative experiences with those who are plumbed differently from ourselves. These events influence our thinking. However we need to realize that our observations and conclusions brought about by these incidents are ours alone, and for us they are valid. These beliefs impose no necessity on anyone else.

Yes, I've changed tires and even hooked up jumper cables for the guy that had a dead battery.These are necessities of life. A person does what a person has to do, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or religion.

In response to mikieg: Who are you to say who is involved in life or not? Does involvement mean physical activity only. What about the interior life--the life of the mind, heart, and soul?

Have I covered all the philosophical bases here??

Helen Wiley, Cornucopia, Finnsailer 35, Savannah, GA
 
#114 ·
....What about the interior life--the life of the mind, heart, and soul? .....

Helen Wiley, Cornucopia, Finnsailer 35, Savannah, GA
Why do you think there are 10 lonely guys living on boats posting in this thread?

Guys, if the truth be told, available ladies on sailing forums are almost unheard of... you're all better off sitting on the nearest bar stool practicing the line "Honey, do you want to come over and see my yacht?".
 
#113 ·
Mikieg... I think you owe DRFerron an apology.. that comment was uncalled for and amounts to pointless baiting. I'd delete the post but it's been quoted so often that's too much work, and the members have already figured you out by the look of it.

Do the right thing...
 
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