Sounds like either your dodger is too high or your sail is cut wrong. You should be able to get the specs of your sail and the correct angle of the sail cut between foot and luff. That will tell you whether the sail is the culprit. If this angle is around 90 degrees then the boom should look like it's at right angles to the mast with the topping lift slack. The topping lift is important because it stops the boom from falling on your head. I don't really trust them and have built a collapsible A-frame for times when the mainsail is not needed. This stops the boom from flapping back and forth (even when tied off) when the boat rolls if I'm motoring or under just headsail. The topping lift should be plenty strong and not disregarded as an annoyance. A boom, coming down on someone's head is no joke. It also can be adjusted just right so that the boom does not hit you in the head when you forget to duck!
Alberg 35: With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship.