Sounds like there may be a market for dummy EPIRBS. "Sure, see, I'm switching it on." ---or--- If you think crew may not get what "CAPTAIN" means, stash the real one so that only you know where it is. Even better, as knots says, go solo so there are no a__holes on board to panic. Get the rules straight: Say, I am responsible for misuse of this thing, my name is on the registration. It does not get switched on unless we are either stepping UP to get into the liferaft or someone needs emer. med. stat or they will die and we are out of radio range. The only reason anyone other than me EVER touches it is if The Captain is the one dying.
Alberg 35: With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship.