I would suggest taking an off shore passage making course, where you are onboard without sight of land for days. You will become more qualified for your vision and know better if the reality is in line with your dream.
I also offer a question for you to ask yourself. No need to rely. Are you more drawn to the sea or looking to get away from land. Successful cruisers come from the former. Runaways are often disenchanted that it isn't all beaches and umbrellas.
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In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair. Margaritas fix everything.