If the sexes were reversed, I'd be thinking, "wow, what an abusive, controlling, arsehole"...exactly the same thing I am thinking about the OP.
Viewing this from the perspective of a reversal of the sexes is a perfectly valid point. Someone who yells onboard over nothing, and declares that he or she has the right to determine whether sails are raised is controlling and manipulative, perhaps even abusive.
I hope the experience of sailing with this virago causes the submissive husband in this scenario to re-evaluate his relationship with her. It is amazing what a tiller or wheel can do to transform a man or a marriage. Perhaps he will grow a pair and dump the shrew.