I would be interested in hearing her side of the story.
Maybe your style is so gentle that she didn't know you issuing an order and not starting a discussion.
Maybe she thought she had to be forceful to show how much she knew and that is what was expected because that is how the guys do it.
I would ask her. "So how did you think we did as a team on our last race"
You might find out something about yourself.
That being said, your boat your rules.
Once you know she knows you can make a decision to keep or cut.
If she has potential is would be shame to loose someone good due to a simple misunderstanding.