Originally Posted by Minnewaska
In the heat of the race, it is acceptable to make it clear that want an order followed. You probably did the best possible.
However, prior to the race, there should have been a deliberate briefing on who will give tactical orders. For that matter, it should be discussed exactly what everyone's role will be. That could then be referenced prior to having to yell.
I probably wouldn't invite that crew back, because it should be fairly evident that the owner trumps the guest. Duh.... If you do want/need the crew back, then asking her how she thought it went may be the best ice breaker. But make your desire clear going forward. The crew then gets to decide if they want to play by those rules.
I'm probably there, too. The point about not asking the helmswoman back is obvious, though it might be advisable not to invite the entire crew back, as well. This may be the case because if the crew was tolerant of the woman at the helm countermanding your directive, they may be as tolerant of someone else doing it in the future. Making your expectations very clear before going out is obviously very important in avoiding situations like this.