Yam, if Philly had something as nice as, or nicer than, anything in NYC,* it would throw off the whole Bos-Wash corridor equilibrium, altering the Masonic balance the Founding Fathers carefully designed, causing stock markets to plummet and possibly the entire east Coast to crack off and float toward Bermuda.
Now, you wouldn't want that, would you?
* The only exception to the Bos-Wash Equilibrium Theory is the cheesesteak. Each city is allowed to have one superior indigenous food stuff. Washington still has not found one.
It's 5 o'clock somewhere:
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