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Old 03-06-2012
sailorswife sailorswife is offline
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Re: Could she sail the boat if necessary?

Relationships!

Wow - now I am really glad I read through all the posts. On reading the initial post I thought, Yes this is me - a sailing wife who sails to be with her husband but no desire really to learn to sail. And this realisation has materialised after 17 years of trying to sail but really not "getting it" and subsequently after all the shouting etc the realisation that you really actually don't want to sail anymore but unfortunately circumstances will dictate otherwise.

But then Jameswilson29 comes on and talks about not airing maritial problems on a public website. He is right but what if you have absolutely no one to talk to as you are cruising with said partner who is causing you distress and as it is the sailing or your non-active participation which is causing the problem and you need to talk to someone who sails but you know no-one close enough to email who will know exactly what you are talking about then a website with fellow sailors who may have found themselves in the same situation is where you will look for help. I realise that submitting your problems on the site will open you up to possible ridicule, cold hard advice that you may not like but maybe, maybe there might be that one person who knows exactly where you are coming from and may be able to give a little support - to say that they can empathise and maybe be able to give a little advice on what to do then I think it is worth it.

I think it is really all about feeling that you are not the only one in the world with this problem. Knowing that other people have gone through the same issues and survived helps. Someone also mentioned that the website should only be about sailing but surely sailing is about your relationship with your boat and your crew which in a lot of cases is your spouse - why should only the relationship with the boat be the one talked about?
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